It’s Good to Talk, Why Don't More Men Have Therapy

Although men are aware that it’s good to talk, they can still be uncomfortable doing it, and therefore less likely than women, to seek counselling, therapy or visit their GP.

Ruth Sutherland CEO of the Samaritans said, “Just 19 per cent of men feel that they can talk to other people about their problems.” Nearly 80% of suicides in the UK are men, often caused by battling their problems alone. Men are less likely to stay in touch with old friends and as a result, can lose important support networks. Men are less likely to try and develop deep or more meaningful friendships with their peer groups, for fear of being judged or thought of as weak.

There are numerous factors contributing to this, for instance, the way many boys were and still are, brought up. Learned behaviour, by observing male family members and friends, and what society, in general, expects of men can lead to growing up with the belief that struggling to cope with life is a sign of weakness. “Big boys don’t cry” “don’t be a girl” and phrases such as these are sad, and ingrained into our society. Asking for help can make a man feel vulnerable, less independent and not in control.

Throughout history, men and boys have been depicted as tough guys, heroes, fighters, and aggressors, we need only look at the TV and film industry for endorsement. Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vin Diesel or GOT’s Drogo for instance, warlord of the fearless Dothraki, warriors skilled in battle, unrelenting in combat and known for their unyielding savagery. I think it would be fair to say, that most people wouldn’t think of these men as being in touch with the emotional side you might imagine them having a conversation that goes something like this:

“Hey Drogo, I hear your wife left you for your best friend, your house burned down and your dog died…

Drogo: “Yup.”

“You want to drink beer, find women and kill a few dragons?

Drogo: “Yup.”

Consequently, many men and boys suppress their feelings and emotions, they might ignore them, pass them off as a nuisance or just try to solve them alone. However, some issues can be completely overwhelming and failure to address them could lead to depression, breakdowns or worse.

Emotions like fear and pride are often at the root. Self-worth and self-respect prevent a lot of men from asking for help. Men often worry that just admitting they feel overwhelmed, will be a blow to their self-esteem, they’ll crumble and be left feeling helpless, useless and unworthy. If you’ve ever shied away from asking for help for fear of seeming weak and so just ‘tough it out, you’re not alone.

Men’s mental and emotional health matters as much as women, and the good news is, studies have shown that asking for help, advice and seeking health matters of health, relationships, family, finance or career matters. makes you happier, healthier, more successful and able to enjoy healthier relations overall. Seeking help is a sign of strength. Finding support is empowering, it opens your mind to fresh ideas and perspectives on how to solve problems that you may otherwise not have considered.

Clinical hypnotherapy is a fantastic way in which to hit that mental reset button, a complete system reboot for the mind. A course of hypnotherapy can help you to rewire old negative beliefs patterns, behaviours and responses that no longer serve you, leading you to a happier, healthier, more productive and positive life.