Mental Abuse Emotional Abuse: Breaking Unwanted Habits
Mental abuse, also known as psychological or emotional abuse, involves deliberately hurting someone and causing them emotional pain or trying to control or manipulate them through verbal or non-verbal communication.
Mental abuse can be harder to recognize than physical abuse; however, it can be just as harmful and may lead to emotional scars and health issues. Furthermore, mental abuse is often a precursor to physical abuse, so it’s important to recognize it and get help as soon as possible.
This article explores the different types of mental abuse, signs that someone is being abused, the impact of mental abuse, and some coping strategies that may be helpful for people who have been abused.
Types of Mental Abuse
These are some of the different types of mental abuse:
Bullying
Intimidation
Coercion
Harassment
Ridicule
Humiliation
Controlling behaviours
Gaslighting
Attempts to isolate the person from their friends or family
Verbal displays of anger, such as yelling or swearing
The nature of mental abuse can vary across different types of relationships. Intimate partner abuse and child abuse are among the most common.
Intimate Partner Abuse
These are some examples of what mental abuse by intimate partners can look like:
Want to know where you are and what you’re doing at all times
Expecting you to report your activities and remain in constant contact
Making decisions for you, often without consulting you
Cutting you off from your friends and family
Keeping you from going to school or work
Discouraging you from going to the doctor or getting medical help
Acting jealous or accusing you of being unfaithful
Insulting you or calling you names
Humiliating you in front of other people
Treating you like a child
Controlling your finances or monitoring how you spend money
Getting angry and yelling or swearing at you
Blaming you for their anger and outbursts
Threatening you, or your friends, family members, or pets
Deliberately frightening you
Threatening to report you to the authorities, sometimes under false pretences
Threatening to harm themselves in an attempt to control you
Mental abuse intimate partners can start suddenly and come as a surprise. For instance, abusers may initially be very attentive, pay you a lot of compliments, and shower you with love and attention. However, they may slowly start to control your life and become abusive.
You may find yourself making excuses for their behaviour, thinking it’s your fault or feeling embarrassed or foolish for entering into a relationship with them. However, it’s important to remember that being abused is not your fault.
Criticizing the child constantly
Blaming the child for problems
Talking down to the child and humiliating them
Threatening to abandon the child or hurt them
Failing to provide a safe and stable environment for the child
Exposing the child to severe abuse or violence among family members
Neglecting the child and showing no concern for them
Child abuse children who grow up in abusive or violent households may believe that it’s a normal way for family members to treat each other and in turn display abusive and violent tendencies in school or intimate relationships as adults.
Impact of Mental Abuse
Being in an abusive situation can cause you to:
Feel helpless and powerless
Be scared and afraid of upsetting your abuser
Feel guilty and ashamed
Feel stressed and overwhelmed
Feel useless and unwanted
Lack confidence in yourself
Feel used, manipulated, or controlled
Question your reality and your memory of events
Alter your behaviour to keep the peace and avoid upsetting them
Mental abuse can affect your self-esteem, concentration, stress levels, ability to sleep, mood, and ability to function. In the long run, it can lead to physical and mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and chronic pain.
Signs of Mental Abuse
These are some of the signs that someone is being emotionally abused:
Being agitated
Withdrawing and refusing to communicate or respond
Acting scared or nervous around certain people
Displaying unusual behaviours generally associated with dementia, such as rocking, biting, or sucking
Coping With Mental Abuse
These are some strategies that can help you if you are or have been in an abusive situation:
Seek help and support: Victims of abuse are often too scared or ashamed to tell others about the abuse. However, it’s important to reach out to a friend, family member, therapist, or organization that can offer help, support, or protection.
Write down your experiences: Abusers often gaslight their victims and make them doubt their reality. It can be helpful to write down your version of events so you have a record of what happened.
Don’t blame yourself: You may blame yourself for what happened to you or think that you did something to cause it or deserve it, but you need to remember that if someone has abused you, it’s their fault and not yours. Remind yourself of this fact over and over again if you need to.
Refuse to engage with the abuser: If you are in a situation where you need to interact with your abuser, step back and refuse to engage with them on any level.
Recognize unhealthy patterns: If you have grown up in an abusive home or been in an abusive relationship, emotionally abusive behaviours may seem normal to you and you may seek them out or perpetuate them in other relationships. It’s important to break the cycle by recognizing unhealthy patterns and working toward healthier relationships with mutual trust, respect, affection, and independent agency.
Work on healthy relationships: It’s important to develop self-awareness and distinguish between healthy and unhealthy behaviors, across different types of relationships to break the cycle of abuse. It may be difficult to trust people or let yourself be vulnerable, but those are important components of healthy relationships with mutual respect, trust, and affection.
Seek help: There is no shame in seeking therapy to help you cope. Therapy can help you process your emotions, develop coping skills, build self-esteem, and heal from the trauma.
Psychological abuse can affect your sense of self and leave emotional scars that may take a long time to recover. Once you are able to leave an abusive situation and secure your safety, it’s important to practice self-care and compassion to help you heal, seek therapy if you need it, and remember you’re not to blame in any way.
Hypnotherapy for trauma is gentle, sensitive and caring. We understand that the events and experiences that have led you to us are likely to be very raw. Trauma Hypnotherapy works with you to release and clear the toxic and frightening messages. Treatment will depend on the symptoms you are experiencing as a result of the trauma. It may involve psychotherapy, self-care, or a combinati
on of these approaches. Treatments often focus on helping people integrate their emotional response to the trauma as well as addressing any resulting mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, or PTSD.
Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy is a type of treatment that focuses on helping individuals improve their mental health and well-being. Treatment may also involve the use of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) to help people evaluate thoughts and feelings related to trauma and replace negative thinking with more realistic thoughts.
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is another approach that utilizes elements of CBT combined with eye or body movements.
