Letting Go of Guilt

Feeling guilty is part of the human condition and it can take many shapes and forms.

Guilt can be an expression of an imbalance in our relationship with others or related to expectations that we set for ourselves. We can feel guilty about not being a perfect parent, child, partner, unkind words, as well as injustice in the world. It isn’t very hard to find things to feel guilty about all day long.

Talking about our sense of guilt with others can also help us to become clear about where our boundaries lie in how we relate to each other.

Guilt can hold us back though and even make us physically ill. A good way to start tackling guilty feelings can be to examine whether the guilt is justified or not. There are different ways to deal with justified guilt, but there is very little point in hanging onto unjustified feelings of guilt.

So how can we let go of some of these everyday feelings of guilt?

Change your expectations to ‘good enough’ rather than perfect. Many of us feel the need to project our ‘ideal self’ to others. It can be helpful to explore what that version to understanding which particular unrealistic expectation we are trying to fulfil can help us examine and reduce feelings of guilt related to this.

• Self -awareness. Most of our behaviour is driven by our subconscious, which can lead to miscommunication, feelings of guilt or anger towards others. Research has shown that people with greater self -knowledge experience less guilt.

• Give and Take. Research shows that giving makes us feel good. So don’t feel guilty when you are on the receiving end and allow others a feeling of satisfaction.

• Letting go of guilt can bring a new sense of freedom and create a welcome space for feelings that can bring us joy instead.