Is Fear of Intimacy Impacting on your Relationships
Intimacy is a term usually applied to romantic relationships but it refers to being known and experiencing closeness. In addition, experiencing honesty, trust and vulnerability. Unfortunately, some people find this difficult and may even be described as having a fear of intimacy.
Intimate relationships are important to our happiness and wellbeing. They are important in reducing anxiety, depression and loneliness
What’s causing a fear of intimacy?
A fear of intimacy can develop for several different reasons, but for many people, it has its roots in childhood and stems from the relationship between the infant and the primary caregiver. Infants express their needs (hunger, sleep, safety etc.) via crying or interacting with the caregiver or parent.
Over time, infants learn whether or not their needs will be met with either consistent responses of warmth or with anger or irritation. Sometimes needs aren’t met at all, and as this cycle of expressing our needs and having them responded to develops in those first few years of our lives, we develop strong and lasting connections in our minds related to what relationships mean to us which stay present in adulthood.
These core beliefs developed in childhood can relate to a feeling we have about ourselves that we are in some way not enough, not good enough or somehow lacking in loveable qualities, or that we are bad, unlovable or in some way deficient. While these attitudes may be unpleasant, difficult or painful, they are also familiar to us, and to an extent maybe even comfortable. We can get used to their presence in our unconscious mind, driving our behaviours or creating patterns and processes in our relationships.
Signs and symptoms of a fear of intimacy
There are a number of symptoms or responses related to a fear of intimacy in a close emotional and or physical, and this will vary depending on each individual. The below list is meant as a guide only and is not exhaustive.
Feelings of unease or discomfort when expressing emotional truths.
Fear of revealing deep feelings, discussing difficult or unpleasant personal experiences.
Difficulty discussing an emotionally painful experience.
Difficulty in showing concern for a distressed partner.
Unease or discomfort when expressing affection.
Difficulty in trusting a partner with personal information.
Difficulty in being spontaneous in the presence of a partner.
Fear that a partner may need you more than you need them.
Unease or difficulty in expressing a personal need.
Discomfort or unease with open communication in a relationship.
Overcoming Fear of Intimacy
Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, have proven to be a successful way to identify and understand overcoming fear of intimacy anxiety and panic attacks associated with fear of intimacy. Cognitive Hypnotherapy aims to get to the root cause of fear of intimacy and change perception patterns, helping to empower the client to feel calm, relax and manage negative emotions. The self-awareness that the integrative approach offers a successful way to quickly eliminate negative thoughts, emotions and limiting beliefs allowing the client to generate a more positive future, improve self-image and increase determination.
