Gaslighting: How To Recognise And Break Free From Abuse

Gaslighting is one of the most difficult forms of abuse to recognise. People who gaslight create their reality and can make you question everything you think and do. However, gaslighting tactics are often so slow and subtle that they are barely perceptible. As a way to acquire more power, gaslighting can manifest in almost any relationship, whether professional or personal and is a lot more common than you may think. So how can you spot the signs of gaslighting and break free from gaslighters whether at work or home?

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a powerful form of manipulation that makes you question your version of events and the reality you experience. When something upsets you, a gaslighter will use techniques to show you that you are wrong. As a consequence, victims of gaslighting begin to question their perception, memory, self-worth and even identity. In some cases, a victim may feel that they are losing their mind.

It may sound drastic, but over time, the subtlety of the lies, personal attacks, control and fake promises can quickly mount to create a very serious problem and can destroy the self-confidence of the victim.

Recognising a gaslighter

Gaslighters are those who love to have power. Typically, they are smart and intellectual individuals who may struggle with criticism, negative feedback or competition. They will often try to assume positions of authority or try to ascertain a form of power to feel more comfortable. Gaslighting is a way for this type of individual to feel in control and powerful, leaving the victim feeling paranoid, off-balance and lacking in conviction.

Once you recognise a gas lighter and have captured the evidence you need, there are several different options you can take;ther. Instead, make notes and keep evidence, especially times and dates that instances occur. A gas lighter will always make you feel like they know more, and that you’d be wrong to question them. So, by keeping a record of evidence, you can confirm whether it is gaslighting or perhaps crossed wires.s.

As a gas lighter can make you question your memory, the best way to recognise a gas lighter is not to trust your memory either. Instead, make notes and keep evidence, especially times and dates that instances occur. A gas lighter will always make you feel like they know more, and that you’d be wrong to question them. So, by keeping a record of evidence, you can confirm whether it is gaslighting or perhaps crossed wires'.

To a gaslighter, only their perception of reality is the true one, so it is wise to make notes of every interaction, in case you begin to question your reality.

How to break free from gaslighting

Once you recognise a gaslighter and have captured the evidence you need, there are several different options you can take;

Look for back-up

If gaslighting is taking place at work, likely, you are not the only victim. Look out for signs of others being gaslighted. If you see anyone else receiving similar treatment, ask them about the behaviour they have received and if they would be willing to document it too. The more people you have, the more compelling your argument and the more confidence you will have to confront the gas lighter's behaviour.

Reaffirm your confidence and self-worth

Being a victim of a gaslighting can be a very traumatic and difficult time, whether it is at work or home. It can be incredibly beneficial to seek help, whether from support charities, friends and family or through therapy and self-help. I work with many clients who are overcoming problems with gas lighters and help to provide a range of tools and techniques to restore confidence, power and self-esteem.

Our hypnotherapy for trauma in London is gentle, sensitive and caring. We understand that the events and experiences that have led you to us are likely to be very raw, no matter how long in the past they occurred

Through hypnotherapy integrative approach NLP, EMDR, meditation and mindfulness, this therapy is a highly regarded and evidenced-based treatment that gives significant results after a few sessions. We work with you to heal the parts of you that experienced the shock and pain of trauma and by releasing and clearing the toxic and frightening messages you received, you can move on with your life as a strong and self-assured adult.