Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. One doesn't have to return to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from an offender.

Forgiveness is vitally important for the mental health of those who have been victimized. It propels people forward rather than keeping them emotionally engaged in an injustice or trauma. Forgiveness has been shown to elevate mood, enhance optimism, and guard against anger, stress, anxiety, and depression.

How to Forgive Someone Who Has Wronged You

Forgiveness can be challenging, especially when the offending party offers either an insincere apology or nothing at all. However, it’s often the healthiest path forward.

A prominent model, put forth by psychologist Robert Enright, delineates four steps of forgiveness. The first is to uncover your anger by exploring how you’ve avoided or addressed the emotion. The second is to make the decision to forgive. Begin by acknowledging that ignoring or coping with the offense hasn’t worked, and therefore forgiveness might provide a path forward.

Third, cultivate forgiveness by developing compassion for the offender. Reflect on whether the act was due to malicious intent or circumstances in the offender’s life. Lastly, release the harmful emotions and reflect on how you may have grown from the experience and the act of forgiveness itself.

How to Forgive Yourself

Forgiving another person is one thing, but what happens when we commit the offence ourselves? It’s important to take responsibility for mistakes, but intense guilt and shame aren’t a productive outcome in the long run.

The process of self-forgiveness can be a painful challenge but deeply valuable. Key to this process is owning up to one’s mistakes, understanding why they occurred, and helping to rectify the situation.

The Benefits of Forgiveness

Forgiveness and Forgiveness Therapy have been linked to greater feelings of happiness, hopefulness, and optimism. The process of forgiveness can also protect against serious conditions such as anxiety and depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

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