Breaking A Trauma Bond Signs of Relationship Trauma

Signs of Relationship Trauma

Ending an abusive relationship is just one step in the process of healing from an unhealthy situation.

Relationship trauma can include feelings of rage and anger toward the abusive partner. In the aftermath, a person may experience distressing thoughts or feelings, cognitive difficulties, and re-experiencing of trauma. Some research suggests lingering psychological, and relational challenges.

Signs of relationship trauma can include:

Flashbacks: Flashbacks are vivid, intrusive thoughts related to a traumatic situation. They can be incredibly distressing and cause a person to feel as if they are reliving an event. These intrusions may be repetitive and unwanted.
Feelings of fear or distress: A person may experience anger, fear, stress, or anxiety in the relationship. This can lead to avoidance of the triggering situation, event, or person.
Guilt and shame: Feelings of guilt and shame can make a person feel isolated from or detached from others. Establishing meaningful relationships may prove complicated, as these emotions may be accompanied by hopelessness, stress, anger, or fear.
Nightmares: Relationship trauma can cause sleep disturbances. A person may struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. Additionally, frightening or disturbing dreams related to the content of the trauma may occur.
Trust difficulties: Establishing meaningful relationships may prove complicated, as the nature of the abusive relationships can instil mistrust with self and others.
Feelings of suspicion: The violation of emotional, physical, or sexual boundaries that can occur in an abusive relationship can breed deep mistrust in and suspicion of others. As a result, an individual may be hypervigilant of their surroundings and interactions with others.

Abusive and harmful behaviours cause an imbalance of power and equality in a relationship. It also diminishes safety, which creates a persistent fear of experiencing abuse or extreme anxiety about abuse in other relationships.

Some ways in which an abusive partner creates unhealthy and dangerous dynamics include:

Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
Belittling, insulting, or bullying behaviours
Threatening to harm a partner or loved ones
Emotionally and physically isolating a partner from their support system
Limiting a partner's autonomy or ability to make choices for themselves and act with agency
Controlling their finances or other means of being independent
Intimidation with weapons
Destruction of personal property
Keeping a partner from being able to seek help when needed
Gaslighting (manipulating reality to make a partner question themselves)
Stonewalling (not communicating with a partner or giving them the "silent treatment")
Love bombing (attempting to influence a partner through shows of love and affection)

Trauma Bonding Sometimes in an abusive relationship, trauma bonding can occur. This happens when the partner experiencing abuse feels an attachment to the abusive partner. Feelings of sympathy toward the abusive partner may lead the other to rationalize or justify their behaviour which can perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

How to Heal From Relationship Trauma

Relationship trauma does not develop overnight, so it's important to keep in mind that healing may take some time. Strategies to focus on during the healing process can include: